Sunday, November 8, 2009

HOW I BECAME A GIRL....

THIS IS MY INS ASSIGNMENT ..REALLY REALLY AWESOME ASSIGNMENNT , I LOVED WRITING IT -

HOW I BECAME A GIRL

IT IS A PART OF YOU - IT GROWS FROM YOU . GENDER IS ACQUIRED AND NOT INBORN --
SINCE THE EARLIEST DAYS OF CHILDHOOD - I REMEMBER , DOWN FROM THE FRILLY FROCKS TO THE CUTE HAIRPINS EVERYTHING ABOUT ME HAD TO ADHERE TO GIRLY NORMS - UNCONSCIOUSLY , MY MOTHER WOULD DRESS ME IN A MANNER THAT PROCLAIMED MY SEX . WHEN MY MOTHER WOULD BE REALLY UPSET SHE WOULD SAY THINGS LIKE - YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THE PLIGHT OF A MOTHER OF DAUGHTERS - SHE HAS BEEN HOARDING UP LITTLE TRINKETS , JWELLERY AND GOLD COINS WHEN WE WERE LITTLE KIDS FOR THE TIME WHEN WE WOULD GET MARRIED . YOUR MOTHER IS THE MOST INSTRUMENTAL FACTOR IN DETERMINING YOUR FEMINITY - SHE IS YOUR FIRST IDOL , SHE IS YOUR FIRST TEACHER .

I HAVE AN ELDER SISTER , SIX YEARS MY SENIOR.THERE WERE TWO FEMALE PROTOTYPES AT HOME AND ONE MALE . MY FATHER WAS ALWAYS A LITTLE EXTRA BUSY , A LITTLE MORE CAUGHT UP THAN I WOULD HAVE LIKED HIM TO BE . BEING THE YOUNGER KID I ALWAYS HAD A KNOWN PATH TO TREAD - EVERYTHING I HAD DO WAS COMPARED WITH MY ELDER SIBLING .
BEING A HINDU GIRL - I GREW UP WATCHING MU AUNTS AND MY MOTHER KEEPING NUMEROUS FASTS - FOR THE PROSPERITY OF THE HOUSEHOLD , FOR THE HEALTH OF THE CHILDREN OR FOR THE SAFETY OF OUR FATHERS . YOU MAY CHOSE TO NOT DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS WHEN YOU TURN OLDER , BUT THEY DO NOT STOP EXISTING . WE HAD OUR FESTIVALS , WHERE GIRLS WOULD THRONG THE ELDERS AND GET GIFTS . WOMEN WERE ALIENATED WHEN THEY WERE MENSUARATING . I CRIED MY EYES OUT WHEN I REALISED I WOULD MISS THE DIWALI PUJA BECAUSE I WAS MENSURATING . RELIGION AND CULTURE HAVE ASSIGNED DIFFERENT ROLES TO MEN AND WOMEN . THEY LEAVE A GENDERED IMPRINT ON EVERY INDIVIDUAL.
STORIES ALSO INFLENCED THE WAY I THOUGHT OF MY GENDER . WOMEN WERE THE PRETTY FRAIL PRINECESSED , TO BE SAVED BY A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR , TO BE RAVASHED BY A VILLAIN . LITTLE WOMEN - WAS THE FIRST BOOK I REMEMBER READING WHICH CENTERED AROUND WOMEN I WOULD LIKE TO BE . JOSEPHINE MARCH CONTINUES TO BE MY IDOL TILL DATE . HOW WOMEN SHOULD BE BEAUTIFUL , LOVING , GREAT AND NOT GREEDY - AS MY ENGLISH TEACHER USED TO REMIND US .
WITH AGE AND PUBERTY , YOUR FRIENDS CHANGE TOO . THEY START FORMING CLUSTERS - THE GIRLY ONES OR THE TOMBOYS . THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY YOU WILL BRANDED ON THE WAY YOU BEHAVE .

MEDIA WAS ANOTHER IMPORTANT FACTOR IN DETERMINING THE JOURNEY TOWARDS GIRLHOOD. THE NUMBER OF GIRLS RAPED , MOLESTED , BURNT ALIVE ON PRETEXT OF DOWRY ALL MADE ME REALISE HOW VULNERABLE WAS THE CLAN THAT I BELONGED TO . IT CONDITIONED MY BEHAVIOR INTO ONE SUITABLE FOR SO FRAGILE A SPECIES AS TO WHICH I BELONGED TO.
THE MOVIES I WATCHED , THE MUSIC I LIKED BARRED ME FROM MY BROTHERS' CIRCLE - I WAS TOO PINK , TOO GIRLY TO BE WITH THEM . THEY LIKED WWF AND I LIKED POWERPUFF GIRLS . I MUST SAY THEY MADE ME REALISE MOST RUTHLESSLY THAT I WAS A GIRL .
YOU HORMONES ALSO MAKE YOU A GIRL - WITH PUBERTY YOU START NOTICING THE DIFFERENCES IN THE WAY YOU LOOK FROM THE OTHER GENDER . YOU NOTICE THEIR BROADER SHOULDERS , THEIR BIGGER WRISTS AND THEIR TALLER FRAMES . EVERYTIME I SAW A PARTICULARLY GOOD SPECIMEN AT THAT , I KNEW WAS A GIRL.
I WORSHIPPED SCARLET O HARA , FANTASICED ABOUT RHETT BUTLER , WROTE DIARIES AND STARTED LIKING MAKE UP . EVERYTIME I SAW A MAYBELLINE ADVERTISEMENT , MY FINGERS ITCHED TO USE IT - EVERYTIME A NEW PRINCESS DIARY WAS LAUNCHED I LONGED TO READ IT , EVERY NEW SPICE GIRL MOVE , I PRACTICED IT FOR HOURS . EVERYTIME I REALIZED I COULD NOT TRAVEL ALONE AT NIGHT , I REALISED I WAS A GIRL , EVERY TIME MY PARENTS SAID "NO" FOR PARTIES , I REALISED I WAS A GIRL , WHEN BACKSTREET BOYS HIT THE STAGE , I SWOONED IN GIRLHOOD GLORY. THATS HOW I BECAME A GIRL - THROUGH CONCERTED EFFORTS OF FAMILY , FRIENDS , MEDIA , LITERATURE -AND HORMONES I REALISED I WAS A GIRL .
AT PRESENT I CAN SAY IM PROUD TO BE A GIRL - I AM FEMINIST , FIGHT FOR EQUALITY AND AM SPECIALLY PROUD WHEN I TRAVEL ALONE IN A BUS . I AM PART OF MY COLLEGE STREET PLAY AND I FEEL THE RUSH EVERYTIME WE DEFEAD A TEAM WITH BOYS . I HABITUALLY REFUSE TO BE HELPED BY MEN AND MAINTAIN MY RIGID STNACE OF INDEPENDENCE - I AM STILL LEARNING HOW TO BE A WOMAN IN THE TRUE SENSE OF THE WORD . YES IT IS A MAN'S WORLD - BUT IM PROUD TO BE A WOMAN IN IT . AND I MUST SAY , IT HAS BEEN QUITE A JOURNEY.

3 comments:

LAN said...

wow wat a blog!! :) :) keep the good work goin

Sanjukta said...

I can't believe I didn't check this post for sooo LONG! I didn't realize u randomly update it but I'll keep checkin just in case u write again..luv this blog post btw..it's totally 'wunnerful' :)

PHOTOGENIC DEVIL said...

@lan : i am so happy to see new faces here :) thank you so much.
@sanjukta: i write, and i write majorly for you.