Saturday, January 30, 2010

new beginnings

new years excite me . like clean slates - a new year , to me , feels like a new beginning , things that disappointed you go right out of the window , you think of all the things that you want to do to and actually you do start some of those .
my new year beginnings are very usual - i wish to be a greater success than my previous self , i wish to do more stuff than i did last year , cut down on the slacking and start the year with a revised personality .

a funny thing happened to me yesterday - this guy (and mind you , a nice guy not a jerk) told me very mattter of factly that he would never date a fat girl - a part of me was angry , a smaller part a little upset and the sad insecure part of me needed calming dowm (thanks udita , ritu , furru , shilangi ). the thing is - i did not think that the guy is a jerk , infact i still like him as much as i did before he made this "sized" comment .

so i got to thinking - does size really matter ? can a fat person never hope to make it with someone not really their size? Will we continue to build relationships in a way that our children continue to live with 100 % chances of inherited obesity ?

The fact is - somewhere a fat person would never really want to date a person who is not fat - atleast being a member of the "fat" club i can say so - the insecurity kills you - and no matter what you say the fact remains - EVERY FAT PERSON WANTS TO LOSE WEIGHT , WE MAY JUST NOT WANT IT BAD ENOUGH ! Hence , every fat person is insecure with there weight - some just know how to fake it better.

so do we really question the sentiment that "BIG GIRL , YOU INDEED ARE BEAUTIFUL?? " does weight define beauty or the lack of it ? how many times would the big girl let her friends convince her that she is NOT FAT but HEALTHY !! (THE HEAAALTHY FIGURE CONCEPT CIRCULATES INDIAN SOCIETY VERY FREELY).do we really like being reduced to living life king size ? are we as a cult as pathetic as we have been pictured ? and indeed (as said in the "drink beer "song)DOES NOBODY WANT TO DATE A FAT PERSON ?
will we be reduced to pot bellied men ? and are we ourselves making fun of our size when we term sad pot bellied men as pot bellied ?

my mother (a poor woman who had the misfortune of having a kid battling obesity most of her life ..) used to say - it is a sin to eat another man's share , there are people dying for lack of food . but when her gold and diamonds were excluded from the purview - why does my food fail ethical considerations?

as i started with the new year - i must tell you , i am indeed trying yet again to forget the failed attempts at joining exalted women with thinner waists (who lie on your date list aamodh :P) - it is another few weeks/ days/ hours of trying to drink the unthinkable stuff and starve - it will be a few more days of trying my hand at physical exercise -- but i know one day, someday - it would be the other way around , when fat would sizzle in a more glamorous way - with my luck , i might just have lost it by then ...till then , keeping myslef away from men all together -- i exist in a famished world .

10 comments:

Udita said...

oye devka...firstly you're not fat!! (i know you've mentioned this point of mine in your blog but i still believe that) & you look great and you're one of the most amazing person i know & you know that you'd been a guy we would be dating :D
another thing...if you wanna lose weight go ahead (but please dont starve or anything) you'll always look awsum girl!!
luv u devka!!

Anonymous said...

social stigma.....makes it all d more difficult for a FAT person to be "loved" in the most traditional sense...by a stereotypically "hot" person.....as if i ever cared for men.....but u my love...are a pure darling...and for me...spplly ur case...SIZE DOES NOT MATTER...:)
luv ya


urs
Teja

PHOTOGENIC DEVIL said...

@udita: u insist on thinking that the change of my sex would be a booster :) but then, i know u mean well. love u girl -- i know im an awesome individual too , but size gets to me at times -- and humour is the best way to tackle with it !

@teja: i love u soooo much it hurts :)

Anonymous said...

duh huh....i rmbr u teln me bout tht fucked up jock....luk love - firstly...we ol r born fat ok....n wen babies r fat n chubby they r olwayz considered " preety baby/ cute baby"...nw jus think tht ur tht baby n tht u didnt want to gv away ur cuteness n prettiness(i mean ur fats!....)hah!....but dnt u think ppl lov u jus tha way u r ??...a frustratd jock uses tha "f" wrd n gos ur INSECURE olready...god tha nxt thing he wil say tht he doest like u with long hair n tht u shld shave it completely!!...nw would u do it?? ..fuck it...evn m fat(nw dnt say m nt..i hav heard it mny times 4m u)...but i dnt go arnd feelin insecure...(i'd rather make other gals insecure)...n guys! huh...ther r lotz f them...well evn if u like ths asshole....my advice- plz dnt...y?? then 1stly he said ur ft...n 2ndly he didnt evn apologise....so gt ova him...(u dnt evn knoe him prply!!) nw if u dnt ...then i guess i will hav to remind u evryday f ur life that wat tht dog said was actually true!!!!;)...n thtz gna hurt honey....so dnt force me....!

ur "hot" hommie
farnaaz!!

PHOTOGENIC DEVIL said...

i luv u naaz , baby -- but i dont like the guy that ways , and he is not a jackass but quite a nice guy - it sjust his preference

and babe , im not gonna lose my cuteness and prettiness nytime soon -- muah
i luv u so so so so much !!

PHOTOGENIC DEVIL said...

@naaz: after being checked by you , i replace the jackass with , him not being a fucker , an asshole -----

and im not taking his side -- his argument is wrong , but still its nto his fault

sidspacewalker said...

see ... if you have more mass ... people will be attracted to you and you will be attracted to people more than between skinny people .... because gravitational force depends on mass ... thats why chubby people love and are loved more .... its simple physics ....

PHOTOGENIC DEVIL said...

@siddhant: my stupid physics lover astro !!!

Aamodh said...

hahaha....
interesting insights...
thanks anyways for not calling me a frustrated jock...
waise guys also don't prefer girls who are geeks and wear braces but i am madly in love with one such girl and its almost been a month now...
so... conclusion
if you are looking for a more agile body and a major boost to your self confidence-lose some weight
BUT
if you are looking for love-someone out there will fall in love with you madly... not for how you look but for who you are..
so happy studying:)

PHOTOGENIC DEVIL said...

bawa .... :P im sorry is this was embarassing..... :P