Thursday, March 31, 2011


I have always had the ability to find the perfect pet name for people. More often than not, those pet names have been good and have stuck , being universally accepted and used. universally that is , by common acquaintances .

I was trying to sleep , as i started thinking about names - about what names do to us. Names and the familiarity they come with. Some people are lucky enough to be associated with awesome pet names, and some , like me , never get one.

I'll talk about two boys, two whom i loved at one point of time - one who was a traditional school romance, I tried a pet name for him , it was out of love, out of a childish urge to brand a particular soppy kind of intimacy , but it never stuck . I loved his name, it was one of those names that I liked - and true to my word, till this day today, when most of that familiarity and need is gone out of whatever is left of our relationship , I still call him by his real name, never shortening it , never familiarising it. Its funny how that name , seems to be all that remained unchanged - he will always exist as that perfectly pronounced name , without any hint of familiarity in my life.
The second boy however , was someone again , whom I have , and still vehemently love.I once loved him , with the ferocity of a possessed lover, and i love him now , with the familiarity of an old, studied one. \It was his pet name , that I was thinking of, when I felt I should write about it. Dalai - that's what he is and what he always will be . In this world, I no longer know his real name -  it is dalai , his dalai-like quality , his dalai-sh behavior that frames his very person in my mind . It is , by far, the most perfect pet name I have ever found for anyone. His entire personality ,  whole persona as it were , is encased in this name. It brings to mind , everything he ever said to me , and everything I ever said to him , with the simple ring of the familiar well used name. Everyone, who once gets to know him, knows that he is so perfectly , so honestly a Dalai.The best thing about using this pet name is , it sticks - even when he leaves a new number with me, he will say, its dalai - its like , he would have existed somewhere else, as someone else, but with me , in this world , he is dalai.
I think, I like him so much in spite of the pain he is most of the times, for the near perfectness of the name he has come to be , for never so perfectly has someone fit to something I made for him. It is the me in coming up with the awesome name, that I feel the love I sometimes  feel.

Names , they say, don't mean so much - yet I cringe when a friend threatened to date someone called a particular brand of bad name person - the very basis for not dating him became his name. A name is the first thing, you are going to remember of a person , it should be memorable. and if his real name is not awesome , then he must be found a new name, and he must fit to that name. One thing I realised, you cannot find someone a name if they were not meant to be that name for you, you cannot force a name on some one's face, they have to earn that name, they have to exact that name for you , and they have to be the name that you in your love for them came up with . There is a lot in a name - there is a lot of him/her and a lot of you in this name.

p.s. this has to be one of the nicest autobiographical things i have ever come with. I like this post a lot.


sidspacewalker said...

I agree with you. This is a really nice post.


hain na ??

what did you like about it , the you in it , or the me (in what i thought and wrote.)?

sidspacewalker said...

The you in it. It is not influenced (at least i thought so) by anything ... it is what you really feel .. about names .. and how they effect your relationship with people ... i like it .. :)


:) Then you like it for the right reason.

i am one of those people who are actually very personal on their blogs, but its never about the people i write, its always about what i feel - it does not have an ulterior motive as it were to say.

how are you doing ? you stopped writing you blog.

p.s. if you are online and checking this, why dont you meet me on gtalk ?

sidspacewalker said...

next time if i see you on gtalk and i am free .... i will ping you ..

kapil khurana said...

:) Devika - I am in love with you. No matter what comes by now. Though still wondering what made you find the perfection in that name.

And why the hell did you never feel the need to share, or divert me to this post? It has been almost a year. I'm so not happy for that.

Also, you never revealed the first of the two names you've put and have liked!


Oh dalai - you are going to get married and produce babies and then think of me and think of what could never be .

P.S. I Love you too. And i did not tell you about it , because , sometimes , its so much better to stumble across stuff on your own . Now why wont you follow my blog I dont know !