“Bittersweet memories, that is all I’m taking with me “ – Whitney Houston
Things die and things change – feelings mutate into more amicable and livable forms – the bursting points that are penned into journals rarely ever happen. We get distracted – by a song , a movie , a piece of chocolate cake.
When you are made to reflect upon this inherent evolvebility of emotion in your life (for lack of anything better to do or your new need to self-actualize) you feel a peevish sense of foolishness for all the times you thought you would “JUST DIE !!” you’re not going to die, not for a long time and not of any so romantic a cause. You are going to live to have many more such moments and feel “GROWN UP” after having your boredom-epiphanies.
Hearts break and they set themselves right all on their own. Feelings evolve into better social acceptability – games, tricks and revenge plots don’t matter anymore. You scoff at the earlier passions which tormented you till you got distracted and were all healed up.
One day, you’ll find yourself in a group of people that do not matter, ceased to matter long ago and had only existed because you felt , you were going to die if you realized that they did not matter anymore. Life happened while you were convinced you were stuck, done for – forever.
Soon an auto will honk, you will break free from your reverie and laugh – free and knowing that you will not go through the mind numbing cycle of possibilities and what ifs the next time you end up with this group of people – they changed, and so did you and all that remains is that perfect memory of your happiness with them which remains untarnished by your “growth” and their distancing from your life.
It all boils down to memories – so don’t fret over all that he destroyed when you felt he changed , or you changed because in that moment you are creating that innocent whim in your head which will refuse to pop down when his name comes into your head. And that is his and your composite reality.