Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Mutation.

 I was going through some of my older posts today. I went back to the very first post. I guess I hoped I would run into a younger version of myself and feel invigorated.

I found so many unforgivable typos, spelling errors, grammatical mistakes and just things that I never thought I had ever felt. It was weird to see how much my friends used to comment on all of that. I wanted to delete everything or at least edit it. I cannot or rather, I will not do that.

I think I used to have so much to say and I was so proud of myself for making the effort that it didn't bother me that there were typos. I was clearly trying to be a lot of different people. I can see the influence of various friends  in what I was writing.

I value spelling, punctuation and grammar now. I am sure I can still find typos in my recent work but they are far and few compared to the horror I encountered today.

I will preserve that as well. I will not let my shame and my conventionality affect that honest, naive and strong headed girl who had so much to say and the confidence which never allowed others to doubt her as  today I am capable of all by my lonesome. So much for all my correctness and rules.

I really hope I never get famous though. If this blog is discovered my fandom will loathe me.

Here's hoping - to become less judgmental and more accepting of myself and of others. 

2 comments:

sidspacewalker said...

I REMEMBER WHEN YOU ALWAYS WROTE IN CAPS.

PHOTOGENIC DEVIL said...

I know. It was a painful period for which I had very valid theory. I can't read anything I ever wrote from that phase which is good because if I would try to read it now it would be make me want to die in shame.
I was brave as a child - i used to believe in strong feeling and open expression. Not such a good idea as an adult.