Saturday, September 12, 2015

Raison d'être

I have been thinking recently about why people do things and what the purpose of morality really is. Are there actually certain things that are better than others ? I am not talking about the big questions of murder and rape but rather about the smaller things that people believe in - you know stuff like not dating a friend's significant someone, cheating on them or selling out silly little things about your friend to someone else.

I used to think that people are naturally inclined to be born a certain way - where some just are good and the others are bad. I would pat myself on the back for the irreparable straightness I have always been plagued with about 'feelings'. I abhor confusion and anyone who confuses me I automatically don't like. I like feeling about people in clear bands of light. Not to say that I expect people to adhere to certain types but I have always sort of liked to feel a particular way about someone. Some people just invoke a particular feeling in you. You can have fights or discover new and confusing behavior but they still invoke that same feeling in you. This has allowed me to be very clear cut in the time  and what I allow myself to think about/of other people.

Of course there are general trends of behavior. For example, if anyone calls you crying , no matter if you aren't very good friends with them or even hate them , I always listen and try to offer solutions. I am polite to strangers and exist somewhere in the spectrum the word 'nice' represents.

I have however realized that it is not because of some inherent quality that people behave in particular way but because it is easier to accept the socialization of feeling. You feel rewarded when your subconscious evaluates you on that scale of social behavior it has been conditioned to accept as acceptable. To be a mean person or a selfish person  is actually an act of rebellion. You might, over time, socialize your subconscious to enjoy this little act of terror on others but that first time it must hurt to go against everything you know and it must take courage.

I have very strong views on relationships - mostly because I have never been in a real relationship. I know that cheating is unacceptable. I would never forgive someone who cheats on me - not because I don't think that love cannot die but because that act of going behind someone's back and then telling them and claiming it was out of love is just too self important. When you tell someone that 'Hey! I cheated on you and I am so sorry and I love you so much' it is not for the person you are telling - you want to stop your subconscious regurgitating social guilt in your head. You want to protect yourself, not the other person. People would be so much happier if they just told the other person that listen I don't think I am attracted to you anymore. It would obviously involve constantly evaluating your feelings towards others but at least this way you are embracing what is good about self absorbed-ness.

I don't know. I have given my ego a little kick by telling it to stop making me feel I am better than others because I am more conformist than rebellious. It is easy to live a straight life - easier still to judge others who don't/

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